Posted by: Lady Optimistic | January 1, 2018

So I Find Myself Here Again…

Another new year and more resolutions.  There’s so much to do, so here I am checking in.

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Posted by: Lady Optimistic | July 7, 2017

LYL:4

What am I proud of?  Me.  I am great.  And I do great stuff.  Sometimes I mess up, but overall, I am great.  I try really hard and most of the time I succeed.

That having been said, I am nowhere near perfect.  Which, I think, is acceptable.

Posted by: Lady Optimistic | July 7, 2017

Marcus Aurelius

You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find your strength.
—Marcus Aurelius

Will tackle Meditations this year.  Can’t imagine my writings could be quite as inspirational, direct, or helpful, but a girl can dream.

BTW – Have recently taken to reading on a Kindle Fire.  Gotta say, “I LOVE IT. I. LOVE. IT!”

Posted by: Lady Optimistic | July 5, 2017

LYL:3 People Thank Me For

I am a server.  Its how I see the world, and how the world sees me.  So they don’t thank me much.  I do it and, whatever it is, makes things better for everyone else, and I feel good.   And they feel good.  And we move forward.

I suppose I could want to be thanked, or even expect to be thanked, but for the people around me to be happy is all the thanks I need.

My people aren’t ungrateful.  I am appreciated.  And to be expected to be the person who can “bring the rain” makes me feel good.

Its my zen to serve.  And to be allowed to serve.

 

The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
—Marcus Aurelius
Posted by: Lady Optimistic | July 5, 2017

LYL:2 Accountability

I am supposed to get an accountability body.  But mine is trekking the Sierra Nevada’s with a bunch of girls in green vests.  They said I could find one on their facebook group, but it will be the coldest day in HELL when I use facebook.  I have no digital foot print, and I like it that way.  Sharing is caring, but not in the facebook world.

So, I am left to twist in the wind, accountable only to myself.  I can do this.  I want to do this, so…  My lemonade is my own accountability.

BTW – Bunny and I were talking the other day and I had a title for my book, and now I can’t remember it.  I will have to ask her if she remembers.  There’s some accountability.  If she does, then I gotta write the book.

Posted by: Lady Optimistic | July 3, 2017

Tell Us Your Story

My story is long, but the best part is it keeps getting better.  Mother, wife, gig-economist… When I was 8 years old I road the NYC subway to school and back, alone everyday.  When I got home I made dinner for me and my father.  I don’t ride subways much anymore – since moving to earthquake country, but I still cook.

Cooking is my passion and my zen.

I meander, and focus is a challenge.  But that is okay with me.  I smell the roses.

Posted by: Lady Optimistic | July 3, 2017

Spending the Day with Bunny

Bunny is my best friend from childhood.  More than any other person, it was through her that I found a mooring.  In a sea of chaos she was always there, and still is.

We spent the day together on Friday last.  It was the best feeling in the world.  She is, as she always was, calm, together, insightful and compassionate.  We talked about her mom, whom Bunny is very much like.  We talked about how women of our generation were the first born of the modern Women’s liberation movement.  We talked about those implications and challenges.  And she talked about how she saw me as a child.

While I saw myself as a living mess, she saw the most self-sufficient person she’s ever known.

How amazing is that?!?!?!

I would like to take the second half of my 50th year and reflect on who I was, and how I am still that person.  And how I am making this life what I want it to be.

 

Posted by: Lady Optimistic | March 14, 2017

The Lion Attitude

Check this out, my dear…

 

 

 

This was sent out as the motivational video of the week from my 10-year-old son’s basketball coach.

I love this!  Completely.  A little bit of a rush for a 10-year-old, but hey, you gotta start somewhere.  And little Iron Man is actually quite emotionally ready for something like this.  Mostly because he isn’t a sheep.  He’s a quite lion.  Or maybe more of alone wolf.

But this post isn’t about Iron Man.  Its about Tink.

So Tink is having a tough time.  And you know what I realized,  – well actually I’ve know this, but hadn’t quite articulated it to myself until just now – she is a lion.  I mean Tink is a LION.

Now, think about lions for a moment.  King of the beasts.  Head honcho of his surroundings.  Gorgeous.  Flashy.  Showy…  Billowing mane…  But who does all the work?  The lioness.  That’s right…  she is the hunter, she provides the food, she births the cubs, she teaches them to hunt for themselves…  SHE is the one that dominates her surroundings.  But she is not what you see when you think Lion.

And that makes me think about the girls’ leadership class Tink and I just took.  It was a class to help girls identify, understand, own and speak their truths.  A class to help understand their feelings and their truths and effectively express them.  I have been doing a lot of research on this.  This is a really difficult thing because woman aren’t appreciated when their truth is raw, difficult, messy, forceful, compelling…

The video is correct.  Every word of it.  Its powerful.  Humans are powerful.

But how would this motivation be received if it were narrated by women?  And how would it sound?  Would it motivate?  If women used the same power in their voices would this video be as well received?  How would a woman have to deliver it differently to be taken seriously?

Teaching a lioness to be a woman is the hardest thing in the world.  I’m probably doing a terrible job.  But I can’t give up.  I won’t give up.  I must also be the lioness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by: Lady Optimistic | December 8, 2016

The Vanquisher of Emotional Bait

I don’t know what rock I’ve been living under… well actually I do, and that rock is a life’s worth of posts for another day…

In short, I’ve discovered Daniel Goleman. Like I said, I’ve clearly been living under a rather large rock.

I found an excerpt in my email this morning from Focus, The Hidden Driver of Excellence. In short, Dr. Goleman posits that focus is most difficult to maintain when one is under some sort of emotional stress.

And that, of course, brought me to thinking about my family. How can my kids focus and be excellent when they are under such tremendous stress. When everything that is said and done is nothing short of emotional bait…

Why do any of us choke under pressure… Pressure is emotional bait. We feel pressure, and our emotions become completely chaotic. How can anyone be excellent under those circumstances?

So, as the person who sets the tone in the family – as all mothers do – I must take on the role of She Who Vanquishes Emotional Bait.

Children must learn to do this for themselves, but from whom?  From their parents.  From adults.  How do you teach this?  I’ll figure that out about two minutes before I die…  I hope.

This post needs more thought… That is what a blog is for!

Posted by: Lady Optimistic | November 29, 2016

What a year it has been

My life has changed so entirely. And completely. Not just my life, but all our lives. And the transformation isn’t complete. But, of course, a rich life is a life in constant transformation anyway, so…

The fact that I am transforming is, in itself, my first step. As I realized when I got a new job back in March, I didn’t even know how miserable I was until I had something to compare it to.

Last year’s holidays and our epic trip to Pakistan for a family wedding consumed my first 3 months of sudden, and unexpected unemployment. We had a beautiful time in my adopted country and the wedding was lovely. The bride is definitely a long lost member of our tribe come home at last!

Follow that with about 6 weeks of major illness and that was the first 6 months of unemployment. Scary and stagnant.

But, as soon as I felt better, I found a job. And I loved that job. And through that job my eyes opened to how rewarding working can be when you are appreciated, doing something you are good at with people who are equally as dedicated. And most of all, working with people who are happy and excited about their work, void of politics and bureaucracy. It was beautiful.

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